malatemail: pulp non-fiction

Time alone, anytime

2012-01-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

Pico Iyer has an opinion piece in the New York Times today heralding the virtues of silence. It's a beautiful paean to the power of stillness, one that not a few people these days should probably take stock of.

Now this may seem like an ironic commentary from a media practitioner like me. Everyday I am inundated by information, numbers, decimal points, percentage signs and subtexts, while figuring out how to turn all that into a palatable and visual feat. How does that work?

Iyer reports that designer Philippe Starck "[doesn't] read any magazines or watch TV,” nor does he "...go to cocktail parties, dinners or anything like that.” Iyer even shares his own method to taming the madness. He has yet to use a cellphone, or join Facebook or Twitter. He says he even has a periodic trip to a Benedictine hermitage for some time alone.

For my part, my brain starts working at 3 a.m. from Monday to Friday, and when they are not at optimal working condition, I am as good as dead for the rest of the day. I usually don't have a problem with this, and I usually get on with a show as planned. But it is after a show that I'd usually feel worn down.

That is why everyday I try to make sure I go to a yoga class. Apart from providing me a boost to last the rest of my weird day, I make sure I get my dose of yoga because it is the only time I am really, truly alone in my thoughts. Sometimes, I don't even have thoughts. I am just there. Tuned out, but tuned in.

So when a friend once suggested I stop doing yoga because it doesn't really do anything, I recoiled in annoyance. How could he have even suggested taking away the only thing that kept me alive everyday? It's like suggesting that a patient in a coma take off the life support because there's no proof that progress is being made.

So I will stick to yoga. It is an hour I take out of the 17 hours or so that I am awake. Not much to ask for to keep myself in check on so many levels. As the great sages say, "Whatever works."

Tickled Pinkberry

2012-01-02T19:39:00.003+08:00

"What's Pinkberry?"

"Oh, it's totes the best hun-cal fro-yo."

And so went the conversation between friends in the Harvard Sailing Team's skit, "Boys will be Girls" (which always makes me laugh so hard).

So when Pinkberry washed into Philippine shores, I just had to try it. It was really creamy and delightfully tangy. I could have eaten a whole take home tub if I wasn't suffering from colds.

I settled for a medium sized (5 oz) cup of mango frozen yogurt, which cost PHP220 with four toppings thrown in. My brother had the watermelon version in the same size. If you want premium toppings, such as peanut butter crunch or blueberries, you have to add another PHP40. But the basic selections aren't so bad, and includes a variety of fresh fruit like kiwi and mangoes, and crunchy items like sliced almonds and honey almond granola.

Froyo has always been one of the food items that I, my youngest brother and my mother bond over. And although there are a handful of them here in Manila, I am still glad that the best froyo place in the world has decided to roost in our neck of the woods. Hopefully it'll come to Singapore soon.

P.S. I unfortunately failed to take a photo of our food because we ate it too fast. All I have is a shot of the shop's overhead lamp. Gives me a reason to visit the place again, I guess.

Day 1 into the new year

2012-01-01T19:02:00.000+08:00

I am happy to report that for the first new day of the year, my lunch consisted of healthy fare — two hefty servings of salad greens. They of course went with my tapa, mashed potatoes, and leftover ham, but I think the salad servings were more than enough to cancel out the effects of the fatty food. Yes, that is just how my brain works. Right now I'm waiting for my mom before we head out for church and possibly some serious facial sessions. This is what I love about Manila — the inexpensive facial treatments, manicures, pedicures, haircuts, clothes, food and entertainment. And of course I'm in the company of people I love. Every time I come back, I seem to want to stay. But then I ask myself if I want to be part of the notorious Manila traffic again. And I think we all know the answer to that.

Why we should say "Yes"

2011-12-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

In a few minutes we usher in 2012. I have already decided that the word for the new year is "Yes". "Yes" to opportunities, gifts, compliments, and positive vibes, and I will take all those in with a grateful heart. "Yes" also to challenges, road bumps, even heart break, because they will help make me stronger and smarter.

I am thankful for the life I have lived so far, but I am excited for what the new year has in store for me. I can't wait for it to start!

Christmas kerfuffle

2011-12-25T14:44:00.001+08:00

The run-up to Christmas was hectic and frantic, but I'm bummed that I wasn't able to collect some photographic evidence of the process.

To illustrate how frantic it was: I only started shopping for gifts at 6 p.m. on the eve of Christmas. It wasn't a totally bad idea, since the customer queues were short, the mall wasn't packed, and the sales people wanted desperately for the day to end so they could go back to their families, and thus they were quick to assist.

What was stressful, though, was the gift-wrapping. In my attempt to cut down on time, I thought I'd do the wrapping myself. Big mistake. The small, boxed stuff were easy enough to tackle. But when I got to the irregularly-shaped, gargantuan-sized gifts, I was floored. My younger brother was counting me down to midnight, and I was sweating buckets in a sea of gift wrappers and Scotch tape.

So I managed to finish my Christmas task by putting aside the gifts for people who I knew were not showing up for dinner. But two people showed up unannounced in the middle of our meal. Their gifts were still lying in my room, unwrapped, and I dashed upstairs to do a dance with the wrappers and Scotch tape anew. I managed to finish wrapping just before they left.

Of course, at the end of the frenzy, I thought I should have planned my tasks earlier. But to be honest, I quite enjoyed the commotion. I needed to do something, and the kitchen was not part of my jurisdiction. So at the end it all, I enjoyed the experience. I was happy to put big smiles on people's faces. And I had a very Merry Christmas with my loved ones. I hope you all did, too!

The good news is that Van Gogh is Bipolar

2011-12-23T00:48:00.000+08:00

More than a year ago, a friend told me about a new restaurant down Maginhawa St. in Sikatuna Village, Quezon City that served healthy dishes in a bohemian environment. I had been meaning to go to this place for quite a while, but it wasn't until this week that I actually got around to going there.

The restaurant/cafe is called Van Gogh is Bipolar, run by artist Jetro Rafael right in his own home. Himself diagnosed as bipolar, the artist and former advertising man grew weary of corporate life and embarked on a backpacking journey for an exercise in introspection. When he came back, he eventually converted his home into the restaurant that people flock to today like pigeons toward bread crumbs.

A friend and I went there one lazy Wednesday. I arrived ahead of her, and was greeted tentatively at the door by a man in a blue sleeveless shirt. I believe he wasn't sure if I was going inside to eat or to just check out the place. He turned out to be the chef's brother. He handed me the menu and I sifted through it, bemused at the whimsical way the dishes were named after famous bipolar people. While waiting for my friend, I ordered a pot of Jean-Claude van Damme's Coffee Punch (a special blend of coffee roasts, above) and an appetizer of Janice Dickinson's Luxurious Mouth (some lovely melted cheese, blueberry and honey on a bed of crisp fried cheese; the recipe I believe changed whenever the chef felt like it).

We were told that the quintessential adobo-based dishes were not available, so we opted for the quirkily-named Edward Scissorhands (black mountain rice topped with salted egg, crispy dilis, with a drizzle of their secret sauce and served on a bed of cabbage), the President Theodore Roosevelt's Black Rice Pilaf (black mountain rice with a generous serving of salmon and walnuts, again in a vessel of cabbage, right), and because we couldn't get enough of carbs, an Adolf "Heil Hitler" Salmon Pasta.

Jetro pointed out that the menu was carefully thought out and not randomly put together. The dishes, he said, were all products of his experiments in the kitchen in his pursuit of physical and mental balance. The cabbage, for instance, had more than just an aesthetic purpose. Apart from serving as a sort of wrap for the soft and delectable mountain rice, cabbage also has protein components that push your body's happy buttons. The mood-altering benefits of peanuts are well-known, and the restaurant makes full use of them.

Photo courtesy of @mavicvil

With the amount of food that came to our table, you'd think we were being readied for the guillotine. To go with our meal, my friend and I each had a tall glass of Courtney Love's Potion of the Day. It had the calming effect of tea, a hint of honey, and the cooling quality of cucumber. If I remember right, there was also mint in it (my memory is notorious for being wrong, though). To be honest, I really have no idea what was in that drink, except for the little chunks of cucumber which were just there. But it was good and refreshing, and went very well with the dishes we had.

Capping off what was to be a complete experience was a spectacular dessert called Mel Gibson's Darkest Sin (right), granted us by Jetro on the house. Each serving is essentially a shot of Russian vodka, shavings of dark chocolate, possibly chili, and a walnut on top. To consume it, you need to mix the chocolate in vodka just enough to get the shavings well moistened. Then, with a long dessert spoon, you carefully separate the chocolate from the vodka, and chuck the drunken chocolate and walnut into your mouth. This is quickly followed by a proclamation of "Prost!", and a swig of the vodka left in the shot glass. My friend and I ended up scraping the bottom of the shot glass for the final dregs of chocolate. I loved the sensation of chocolate and spice at the tip of my tongue. And I especially enjoyed the feeling of vodka smoothly snaking down my throat after the chocolate crush. It was so good, I ordered another set.

At the end of our meal, the three of us headed outside for a conversation that ranged from food to travel to manic depression to being in the now. After a full four hours at Maginhawa St., just as we were about to leave, Jetro showed us his latest installation art work best appreciated in the dark with a video projector (left). It was startlingly lovely. I left the place with a feeling that something magical had just happened. I left the place thinking that Jetro's whole experience is an art work in itself — his home a canvas in which he showcased his craft, whether it was his art or, his food, or his journey in life. Everything was personal on all levels, and the amount of joy that strangers took away with them was astounding.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2011-12-18T14:57:00.000+08:00

When you are in Manila in December, it usually comes with the frills associated with the Christmas holiday. That includes the lights, the music, the monstrous traffic, and yes, the back-to-back-to-back meet-ups with friends.

Today I went out with friends from my former company, those who I call my "super friends". We trooped over to a newly-opened branch of Romulo Cafe along Jupiter St. The food was good, not great, but I totally fell in love with the interior decoration. It had an old-school, vintage feel to it. And I was told that the second floor housed several years' worth of memorabilia and photographs from the time of Carlos P. Romulo (the Philippine diplomat who lived in the early 1900s, for whom the restaurant was named after). I of course never made it to the second floor, but I took my friend's word for it.

Even though I had just seen this set of friends only two weeks earlier, I was happy to see them again, to regale and be regaled with the latest stories about relationships, professions, views on the expatriate first wives' club, and stupid people in general. And since I've only been around for four days, there are sure to be more gatherings like this in the pipeline. December is truly the best time of the year.

Bangkok Rendezvous

2011-12-12T19:38:00.000+08:00

Spent another whirlwind weekend out of town, this time in Bangkok where one of my good friends lives. She and her family welcomed us into their lovely home, treated us like hotel guests (complete with all the amenities and even hotel-like breakfast), and her kids provided the entertainment. My friends and I are all almost the same age, but coming to her home was like spending a weekend at your favorite aunt's house.

Well, like I said, it was a whirlwind weekend. After work at 10 a.m. on Friday, I scooted off to the airport to catch the 12:30 flight. As soon as my friends and I arrived in Bangkok, we were whisked away to our hostess's wonderfully designed house to drop our bags off. Soon after that we went straight to the spa for some good old fashioned Thai massage - except that me being me, I didn't get a Thai massage and had a foot massage instead.

The rest of the evening and most of the following day were spent lounging at my friend's house, or in a restaurant or cafe. If it weren't for those street side shots in my photo album, you wouldn't know we were in Bangkok. We spent our final evening over a nice dinner and unlimited glasses of wine at 39 Restaurant, which was closed for that particular private party we attended. We went home laughing and totally drunk.

It was bittersweet having to haul our belongings for the trip back to Singapore. But it just opened the doors for more trips around the world with the best companions.

Celebration, rumination, inebriation

2011-12-07T19:12:00.000+08:00

So I'm back from a quick Manila trip where I attended a very close friend's wedding. It was a beautiful and traditional affair, and I was happy to see one of my dearest friends finally meet the match worth waiting for.

Anyhoo. My lit teacher once said that weddings (and funerals, for that matter) are the laziest devices one can use to tell a story because they conveniently bring all the characters together. But it seriously is the best way to gather people to one place, whether by choice or by force. I saw some friends I hadn't seen in months, some I hadn't seen in about a year or two, and still others I hadn't seen since I stepped out of college. We easily wiped out the stash at the bar counter because from where I come from, my school is renowned for producing the best batch of drunkards. The bar just didn't stand a chance.

But we all rounded up to go home a little earlier than I expected. And so it was revealed that some just can't take that much alcohol anymore, some were driving back, some were bracing for grueling 2.5-hour road trips, and, surprisingly, some were already feeling pain. My excuse was that I had a flight to catch the following day. As I took a swig of a blue-colored beverage from one of the guys in the entourage (who marveled that the strong drink didn't make my eyes roll towards the back of my head), it dawned on me that we were all about 15 years away from the peak of our bingeing prowess.

But I know that my inherent ability to snort alcohol with a smile will never go away.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-29T18:14:00.000+08:00

I think this should really be a daily affair. Today I had one too many surprises to make me sufficiently thankful for the rest of the week. Maybe for the rest of the year, even. There is a God, there really is. He reminds me about His presence at the most opportune times.

Just going with the flow

2011-11-28T17:04:00.001+08:00

Counting down the day until I hop on a plane to Manila. Planned on running some errands before that happened, so I left work early, went to yoga class early, and arrived home early.

And then I tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave oven, plopped in front of the TV and devoured episode after episode of Burn Notice.

I love making plans. But sometimes, blasting right through them can be comforting.

Rivers and thimbles

2011-11-27T16:41:00.001+08:00

I've lived in Singapore for more than a decade now but I still see things with new eyes. The thing with Singapore is that nothing stays the same for too long. So if a place you like is still there after three years, then that is a testament to its strong staying power.

Changes happen pretty quickly, too. I still remember the sign just outside the plot of land that was soon to be The Esplanade: "To be unveiled in October 2002". And I distinctly remember thinking I wouldn't be around to witness that. But wouldn't you know? I've already seen more than a dozen shows there.

Having said that, I do wish The Orange Thimble doesn't go away. Tucked away in a little corner beside an egg shop that sells by the crate, it's a whimsical cafe with mighty potent coffee. I wish they had a wider food selection, though. But did I mention their coffee is potent?

Today I win the Short-Attention-Span Award

2011-11-26T16:32:00.002+08:00

I woke up early today - 7:30 a.m, to be precise - and thought I could pack in a lot of activities by starting the day early. Well. The most I've done is stuff the laundry into the washing machine. Now into the late afternoon, I have demolished my wrap delivery lunch while surfing aimlessly on the Internet with the sound from the History channel's 101 Gadgets that Changed the World blaring on the TV. Yez. But I'm saving some of my energy for a yoga session at 6pm. I so totally need to go for an exercise after this. Maybe I'll walk home after class. Just need a little time to unwind. Been looking at my one-week old niece's photo and I can't wait to come home and bite those cheeks. Whee!

So you wanna be a rock star?

2011-10-18T19:19:00.000+08:00

I seem to have this weird, renewed desire to go out partying again after holing up in my home for the past, well, five years, it seems.

The first few years I was in Singapore, I was always out on weekends. It didn't matter if I was tired, or if I wasn't feeling well, or even if I had no money. I made it a point to go out drinking and dancing with friends and acquaintances at least once a week. Sometimes I'd even triple-book myself for one night just to make sure that I would not be home on a Saturday.

And then suddenly I found myself enjoying activities that involved solitude, such as yoga and serial TV viewing. I got to read a lot more books. I baked, for chrissakes. My nights out with friends turned into coffee sessions, the occasional pubbing, and (gasp), brunch.

It was a low-impact life. It wasn't entirely a bad thing, though. I enjoyed the slow pace. My weekends felt longer because I'd wake up earlier and I stopped coming home drunk at 5 a.m. with no memory of what I had done earlier in the day.

But during my recent nine-day break I got a taste of the rock star life again, albeit briefly. Sure, I no longer have the strength (nor the youth) to enjoy full nights out and bottomless bottles of beer. But I realized that I missed the air of being out and about in the evening. Is it a life worth going back to? I'm not sure. But I sure as hell know that I want to do it while I still can.

Girl, Rebooted

2011-10-17T02:07:00.000+08:00

When I said I was going black ops for about a week, I didn't really plan on being absolutely useless. Baking, re-arranging my room, sorting my papers, folding my laundry, blogging, and going for yoga daily? Natch.

I stayed up late watching cooking shows, napping in the afternoons, reading books and surfing the Internet. I spent most of the week out and about in the evenings. I caught up with close friends for several rounds of drinks and dinners.

And it felt absolutely fabulous. I feel recharged and ready to face work for the rest of the year.

Hooray for nothing!

2011-10-07T20:44:00.001+08:00

Oh such joy, the anticipation of doing absolutely nothing for the next nine days! I'd usually go out of town at around this time of the year, but this time I am staying put and I won't even be working. I am having my own version of a staycation. The thought of being free from responsibility for nine whole days makes me giddy with excitement.

How to spot a genius

2011-10-06T19:11:00.001+08:00

I am probably going to be one of millions blogging about Steve Jobs today.

I learned of his death while I was at work, and even then it was just a newswire flash, and purportedly one that was sent out just as a whiff of his departure was known. There were no other sources corroborating the fact, so a part of me didn't want to believe it.

But within seconds Apple came out with its own confirmation, and my heart sank to my feet. It was true. Steve Jobs had passed away.

I've never claimed to be an Apple aficionado but surprisingly, I have all the essentials. As I write this I am using a Macbook. I can never leave the house without my iPod touch. My favorite software in the world is iTunes.

Now that's the kind of genius Steve Jobs was. He crept into my life without me noticing it, and stayed. May he rest in peace.

Over-bent

2011-09-19T18:31:00.001+08:00

Photo courtesy of bikramyoga.com

Is it even possible to over-bend? I woke up today feeling like an old lady with an ache in my side that would not go away. And to think I thought I had a great vinyasa session yesterday. Maybe it's true then, that I went way too much to the left and upset a few muscles that I don't often use.

That says a lot about me. When I'm given a challenge, I try to go full-throttle. Most of the time I end up with an excellent result. Maybe I like the affirmation, maybe I like the praise, but I also think that maybe I just enjoy coming up with a good finished product.

The problem, however, is that I suffer the consequences much later in the game. Yesterday I tried to go to my edge because I've done it before and I knew I could do it. Today I am sure Betty White feels better than I do.

But I am of two minds about this attitude: do I give myself room to chill? Or do I go on believing that I am a beautiful tall bamboo, maybe swayed a little, but never bent, until hacked off from the root?

Boys to Men

2011-09-18T18:14:00.000+08:00

I didn't see the movie Kick-Ass when it first came out, so when I finally caught it on DVD, I was incredibly amused by the premise and the execution of the whole production. I Googled the characters, particularly the lead actor Aaron Johnson, and found out that the 21-year-old is engaged to a woman 23 years his senior. They first started dating when he was 19, and she, 42. They are awaiting the birth of their second child. The Ashton-Demi age difference obviously pales in comparison here.

In general, I have no issues with chasmic age gaps between people in romantic relationships. But 23 years? Really? So, she was 23 years old when he was born? I am ashamed to say that I am bothered by it, but there, I said it. I guess this makes me uncool.

'Whoosh', went Saturday

2011-09-17T20:13:00.000+08:00

I slept in and woke up startled at 10 a.m. Just after hunkering down for lunch, I remembered that it was the UAAP cheerdance finals so I went to catch the competition streamed online. Thankfully, UP won the cheerdance championship (again!) or that would have been some totally useless couple of hours spent on the computer.

But I ended up doing nothing particularly relevant today, except wash my laundry. My brain kept telling me I should at least do some cursory sweeping of the floor, but every bone in my body said lie down on the throw pillows and watch Meg Ryan's Proof of Life on HBO.

My brother is in his room catching up with Game of Thrones and loving every bloody minute of it while wolfing down double pepperoni pizza, while my flatmate is out for an Austin Powers-inspired party. Meantime, I am here, doing nothing, really. Just writing about the uneventful Saturday that is whooshing by. And I seem to be happy doing just that.

Rest today, recreation tomorrow

2011-09-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

Of all the days in the week, Friday is my favorite. But unlike most people who like it for the potential of a night out, I like it for the potential for a stay-in. For the most part of the week I subsist on an average of 5 hours of sleep. So this is the only time I am able to really recuperate, and really take things slow. And on that note, I bid the world goodnight. I will be up bright and early tomorrow for another eventful day, for sure.

Meal-planning

2011-09-14T18:09:00.000+08:00

I have mixed feelings about watching cooking videos online. Part of me hates myself because I am not getting enough sleep, and when I do fall asleep, I go to sleep hungry. But another part of me gets excited when I watch the chefs cook. Currently, I am completely besotted by Jacques Pepin. His combination of technique, common sense and tenderness makes me wish I'm his granddaughter.

A lot of the demonstrations I watch are pretty complicated, and I doubt I'll be making any of the dishes anytime soon. But one can always make plans, even imaginary ones.

I wish my kitchen counter was bigger, though.

Sarap to debone

2011-09-13T19:20:00.001+08:00

Well I can't believe I'm losing some precious sleep watching videos on YouTube on how to debone a chicken. But this fellow has done such a magnificent job that I am inspired to make chicken galantine myself! Question is, how many chickens will I have to mutilate to get it right?

Scent of a Woman

2011-09-12T20:12:00.008+08:00

While I was in the changing room in my yoga studio today, I caught a whiff of Colours de Benetton. In a split-second, I was bewildered by a wave of happiness, and I started mulling the scents I've had in my life.

There are only a handful that I've been loyal to since I took to perfumes. The first was Obsession by Calvin Klein, which I discovered as a high school sophomore. Yes, it was a mature scent for a 15-year-old but, as the emblazoned name showed, I was obsessed by it.

Obsession reminds me of my high school uniform, the gold pendant my Dad gave me for my birthday (which I lost), walking or running or sliding down the corridors of my all-girls' high school, the Glee Club, recess and lunch breaks, marathon telephone conversations, and the high school library. Mount Pinatubo erupted.

But after years of inhaling Obsession, I became absolutely sick of it and I switched to Colours de Benetton. It was my perfume for all seasons, and I loved how the scent turned my happy hormones on.

This was the age when I practiced being an adult - living away from home, in an apartment with dorm mates, the mad dash for a 7 a.m. class in Natural Science 1, paying rent and electricity bills (from my parents' pockets), instant noodles, PBA games via fuzzy TV transmission, movie marathons in Ortigas, shawarmas for lunch, and rock bands and rock stars. Somebody killed Eileen and Allan, Mayor Sanchez and the Corcolon brothers were jailed.

When I graduated, I went back to Obsession because I'm crazy like that. Work was more like play, because my parents would bring me to my office in their car, I would go for lunch with friends at work if my college friends weren't available, there were coffee sessions at Glorietta at the end of the day, or beer sessions at Banggerahan, even more movie marathons, and my parents would pick me up when I couldn't get a ride home. And I got paid to do all that. Erap Estrada became President.

Then I came to Singapore, and I had a Gucci Envy moment (not to be confused with the Gucci Envy Me line). I worked for a magazine, I discovered new tastes and cultures, I discovered new words, even. The World Trade Center crumbled.

A couple of years later I moved jobs, still enveloped in a mist of Gucci Envy. A co-worker told me she bought the same fragrance because she loved smelling it on me. Unfortunately, it didn't register the same scent on her own skin. At this time, I was a newly-minted News Assistant trying to get my head around working in a TV station and getting confused in the process. We had a horrific machine that moved tapes mechanically. I hot-rolled tapes. I worked with a software that looked like The Matrix. SARS happened, and I was on Friendster.

DKNY's Be Delicious just happened to roll on by. I enjoyed spraying it on for work, for a day out, for a night out, and even before I'd go the gym. It was my Obsession 2.0. By then, I had learned the tricks of the trade, the drunken nights out in clubs were too numerous to remember, I could dance in three-inch heels until 5 a.m. Saddam Hussein was captured and hanged.

I don't know how long I've been with Miracle by Lancome now. I'm feeling a little settled. I go to stadium concerts, house parties, weddings, christenings, adult and children's birthday parties. I even bake cupcakes. Osama bin Laden is dead, and I'm on Facebook.

While I still enjoy Miracle, part of me is on the hunt for a new scent. Or maybe I'd like to create more memories.

Early morning musings

2011-09-11T08:44:00.000+08:00

Nothing beats a day well-spent than one begun with an hour of vinyasa. Off I go for my fix today, before the madness of the new work week sets in.

Friday with friends

2011-09-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

Just got home from dinner at Bella Pasta with friends... on a Friday night! Without napping after work! Yes, some mundane things that I used to do before are now blog-worthy. I'm starting to get my life back.

Evil spirit

2011-09-08T21:10:00.000+08:00

PHOTO FROM AP

Found out that John Galliano has been convicted in a Paris court of making anti-Semitic comments which, in France, is illegal.

Poor man. Poor, poor, fashionable, rich man, fallen prey to his drink and the viral power of YouTube. I'm not condoning what he has done, because at the end of the day, it was a reprehensible act. But I wonder if he really just succumbed to the evil spirit of alcohol, or if there was some deep-seated resentment that bubbled over when the opportunity arrived. I guess we'll never know.

Anyway. I'm living dangerously on the edge by being awake at this time. Looking forward to going to work because Obama has a speech tomorrow that may make or break his people's confidence in him. And we're going live. Live!

Yes, I need to find other things to excite me.

I try to eat right (and I'm still trying)

2011-09-07T19:21:00.001+08:00

After weeks of eating junk and living with decadent cupcakes in my fridge, I went for a healthy option for lunch today: yong tou foo from our friendly neighborhood market. I stocked up on the greens, the thin glassy noodles and tofu to fill myself up. I felt very good about myself as I slurped the clear broth that my dish came in.

But me being me, I downed my food with a tall glass of ice-cold Sprite. So all that loading-up on healthy food was cancelled out by a glass of sugar.

I have to say that eating healthily is not easy at all. It requires a lot of planning for me, since I come in so early to work. Don't even get me started on what the 24-hour convenience shop has stocked at 3 a.m. This basically means that I need to prepare breakfast in the evening. Most of the time, breakfast is two cups of coffee and a cigarette, until 9 a.m. rolls by and some food shops open up.

It's a dilemma of sorts, and one that I plan to correct. And then I saw this study about centenarians and their bad habits. I don't think I'm in such bad company now, am I?

Time

2011-09-06T20:15:00.003+08:00

My yoga teacher was in a bad mood today. A lady set her off when, 10 minutes before the class ended, the student stood up from her mat to leave the room while the rest of us were getting ready for savasana. It turned out that the woman had an appointment after class and needed to leave before the session ended.

My teacher was understandably annoyed. After she let the student leave, she started talking about how she always made sure we started on time and ended on time. She said that by leaving 10 minutes before the class ended, the student had disrespected the teacher, and disrespected her classmates. My teacher went on for about a minute before remembering that she was in a yoga class.

It got me thinking about how the act of honoring time is reflective of how we honor other people. I remember an incident when my senior told me to stop coming in late for work. I assured him that I never breached the 10-minute grace period. But he explained that as one of the show's so-called top bananas, I should display some enthusiasm and rally my team on by coming in bright - er, dark - and early. By that time, of course, I had rolled my eyes. And then he pointed out that my teammates get paid less than I do, and I should, at the very least, show them that I took the job as seriously as they did by never being late. I took those words to heart and since then, I've never been late for work.

So, flash-forward to my yoga class today. I was annoyed that the lady left when she did, because for the duration of the class I had felt my lunch trying to crawl up my throat, but I still stayed in the room.

But, oh well. We om-mmed our way to the end of the session.

So, back to that puppy talk

2011-09-05T15:12:00.000+08:00

I've been looking at photos and videos of dogs recently and reading accounts of how blindly loyal they are to their owners. It makes me wish I had a dog. Well, my family has a dog back in Manila, but every time I come home she always reminds me that she is Queen of the House. That dog is competitive, really.

But will I make a good dog-owner? The idea of having to literally clean up after it stresses me over. And what about those days when I am out of the country, sometimes two or three weeks at a time? What would happen to it?

I wonder if I really want a dog, or if I just want to be needed. Dogs are just crazy, the way they get crazy about you. You may be the most annoying individual on the planet, but chances are, your dog will still think the world of you. You may be a serial killer, but some serial killers have dogs, too. I guess I have to figure out what I really want before I adopt a pet. The last pet I had was a fish, and I killed it by accident.

Currying a favor with myself

2011-09-04T19:52:00.002+08:00

I had the most awesome lunch today: Hainanese curry with pork chop, chicken and some cabbage, all on top of steaming white rice and doused with a generous serving of gravy. I used to eat this almost everyday, until there came a point when I thought I should be kinder to my heart and my waistline. So I avoided this stall near my house, ignoring the lovely scent wafting from the rundown shop with every ounce of strength I could muster. But after going on a merry-go-round earlier today, I decided I probably deserved it.

Ahhh hello, weekend

2011-09-02T23:31:00.003+08:00

It is that time of the week again when I can go berserk baking cupcakes! But seriously. All I want to do is decorate them. But I've been awake nearly 24 hours now. I gotta go crash.

I thiiiiiink I want a puppy

2011-09-01T18:28:00.001+08:00

But if it's anything like THIS dog, then never mind.

No, not really. Thanks.

2011-08-31T19:42:00.002+08:00

And especially not when I'm wearing heels that are at least three inches high. I'd rather take the elevator and come out to the world refreshed, relaxed, and three inches taller.

I know high heels are bad for the knees (so is running, right?), and I have no explanation for my fascination with them. So I've recently gotten into a Fitflops mode, and I do admit my knees have been happy about it, but nothing compares with the feeling I get when I am taller than I really am.

It's superficial, I know, but for some reason, my being in heels at work seems to affect my performance - even if I'm in my chair most of the time, anyway. Maybe I like the feeling of towering over most of the women I bump into in the ladies' room. Or maybe I like the fact that I am more conscious of my posture. Whatever it is, it works for me.

Public holiday? What's that?

2011-08-30T18:47:00.000+08:00

I am one of those people who don't always get the chance to enjoy a public holiday. When I come to work (in the ungodly hour that I do), the people who live near my office are just on their way home - in the midst of laughter, in gangs, solo, in a daze, or sometimes zigzagging in a state of inebriation. Me? I'm the one who makes a pit stop at 7-Eleven to buy a banana to go with my coffee for breakfast.

By the time I leave my building, the central business district is deserted.

Today I thought I'd go to the local mall to buy my monthly food supply. And guess what. Everyone and their uncle were there. Then I remembered that it was Hari Raya today. That was why the mall was full of beautifully-garbed people in their lovely Muslim clothes, smiling and twittering (in the traditional sense) and generally enjoying their break.

Well I won't get to enjoy anything like that until October when I go a full week off for my own break. Can't wait to do absolutely nothing.

Ramblings of the sleepy

2011-08-29T17:29:00.001+08:00

Can't believe I survived today with only three hours of sleep. I decided to skip yoga class or I'd most definitely suffer the consequences. But I really miss my mat. It's been three days. I need a good stretch. But yawn.

Cake in the brain

2011-08-28T18:32:00.000+08:00

Talk about not getting enough of cupcakes. I'm just so proud of my little babies that I can't keep my eyes off them. Today while I was storing them I couldn't help but take more shots of my sweet creations. I think I can keep making these every weekend. The only problem is that I need to find more people to feed.

So anyway. I haven't gone to yoga in the past two days because I felt like I needed to relax my body and my brain by doing absolutely zilch. Little did I know that baking would actually preoccupy my body and my brain for the past two days. But I really had such a good time. I can't wait for the next weekend to arrive. Now I have all these plans of going over to that baking goods and supplies shop at Holland Village that I've heard so much about. I just hope I don't blow a whole month's salary buying stuff I'll eventually find out I won't need.

Next on the menu will definitely be Red Velvet Cupcakes with Creamy Cheese Frosting. Ohhh Saturday, come already.

Cupcake success!

2011-08-27T19:52:00.003+08:00

So all it took was foolishness, and a lot of perseverance. After last week's cupcake fail, I managed to keep the dang cakes from cratering in the middle, and I made butter cream frosting! Unfortunately I didn't have piping bags (I had the tips, though, but they proved to be very useless), so I just made do with a fork. I'm so happy, I can keep making cupcakes every weekend! But what I really wanted to do was just design the cups. So I'm gonna go buy me a piping bag and make cupcakes again next weekend. Or tomorrow?

Wine before bed

2011-08-26T23:43:00.000+08:00

I've been awake for nearly 24 hours now. I came home from work today with the intention of having a little nap before heading out for drinks with colleagues. But I ended up puttering about at home and doing random things, and the next thing I knew, it was time to go out.

Part of me wanted to curl up in bed and recuperate after a whirlwind week, but the other part thought that I needed a good glass of wine.

I'm glad my alcoholic self got the better of me. I went over to a pub called Boomarang at Robertson Quay, and yes, it's really spelled like that.

It was a good decision in the end. Chatted up with some co-workers I never would have spoken to otherwise. And a little conversation with another colleague gave me a bit of a boost. It was the kind of affirmation I felt I needed to hear, especially after this harrowing week. So it was an evening well-spent.

But for now... BLAG!

Mac and me

2011-08-25T19:23:00.001+08:00

Well look at that. I seem to be on a roll. After an exhilarating day at work (I mean, I feel wistful that Steve Jobs has stepped down as CEO of Apple and all that but it broke during our show so I had to throw all plans to the wind and, really, Apple will be all right), I thought - hey, it seemed like a nice day to make baked macaroni. So after work and an hour of hot yoga, I skipped over to the local grocery for a little grocering.

While not a fantastic cook, I think I am decent enough. Well, decent enough to create something edible, at least, to tide my appetite over for the next couple of days. And besides, there really is something reassuring about the act of cooking - the way all senses are involved in the process, and how I know that, however it may taste, the end product will always be decimated.

Okay, fine, it's just baked mac. And I hate washing dishes. But I had a great time.

Ladies who lunch, and psycho-girl stuff

2011-08-24T17:04:00.002+08:00

I don't know how to make myself not sound like a glutton, but I had another steak lunch today - this time at Les Bouchons at one of my favorite nooks along Ann Siang Hill.

Anyway. My friends and I had not seen each other in months before this particular lunch date, so of course it had to be at least a two-hour affair. My friends, both mothers, shared their recent experiences with their respective 20-something and two-year-old daughters.

I couldn't help but think that rearing a child can never be an easy task. You may will her to grow up into the best and proper lady you think she deserves to be, but at the end of the day she'll be whatever she thinks she should be. If that means she'd like to be a beer-guzzling, cigarette-toting, tattooed, and pierced rockstar, then that is what she''ll be.

And that doesn't even factor in the falling-in-love bit. When she meets a man who she thinks is The Biggest Love of Her Life, then there's no arguing that. You will lose.

Oh, I am not talking about myself, by the way,

Steak and sweat

2011-08-23T17:42:00.001+08:00

Of all the days I had to leave my phone at home, it had to be today when I was scheduled for a fancy steak lunch at an Argentinian restaurant. I was really looking forward to documenting the experience but ended up kicking myself at my own memory lapse.

I knew I was bound to feel guilty after lunch, so I went to a core yoga class first. I had never done it before, and I admit I was apprehensive before I entered the studio. Core exercises were not my cup of tea (think sit-ups ad nauseam). But save for one sequence where I struggled through a swathe of sweat, I thought I did pretty all right. I'd probably go for one of those classes again.

See, the only way to get through apprehension is really to just wade into it - sweat and all.

And boy did that steak taste fantastic afterwards.

Boringly reassuring

2011-08-22T15:57:00.001+08:00

The beauty of coming home at the time that I do is that the I'm sure I can enjoy peace and quiet once I'm in the house. See, there isn't even any traffic to be stressed over on the way home. After work, I'd usually head off for yoga, buy something light for lunch, and watch my lineup of TV shows (believe me there are lots of TV shows to go through). And just before it gets dark, I'd try to sneak in a few pages of a book, before I am sure to doze off to sleep. This kind of routine may sound boring, but sometimes boring makes my heart calm. Sometimes.

And on the subject of deaths...

2011-08-21T21:04:00.002+08:00

It appears now that three of my heroes share the same death anniversary - my father, Ninoy, and now Mom Edith.

Such sad news

2011-08-21T20:58:00.001+08:00

I am saddened to hear about the passing of Mom Edith Tiempo.

She was really like a mother to us workshop fellows - cajoling us, encouraging us, imparting advice but all the while not sparing us the hard truths about the art of writing.

Wow, I really feel very down about this. We may not have been related by blood, but we're related by passion. And I feel inclined to make her proud.

Cupcake fail

2011-08-21T19:39:00.002+08:00

So this weekend I tried to change the usual drone of my Saturday - usually waking up early for yoga before deciding on what movie to watch.

To make this particular Saturday a little different, I decided to wake up past 12 noon, skip yoga, and hop to the grocery to buy cupcake ingredients. And I ended up with these bunch of cratered creations with a dollop of watery glaze right in the middle.

I was understandably disappointed, but after making two dozens of them, there were only four left by the end of Sunday. So, they couldn't have been that bad, right? I have to admit, they were incredibly yummy. Just need to spruce up on the presentation department, though. That's the objective for next Saturday.

But I probably won't skip yoga this time, especially now that I have a visual of just how much sugar goes into these dang nuggets from heaven.

Diary

2011-04-26T23:06:00.001+08:00

I've been having a love-hate relationship with my Internet connection for the past 20 minutes. And then I realized those were 20 minutes of my life that I will never get back. I spent the whole time staring and waiting and cursing under my breath and wondering why, despite the good money I've paid for optimal technology from the country's (allegedly) top broadband services provider, I wasn't getting any love.

This experience reminded me of how easy life was about 20 years ago, when all I used to chronicle the conversations in my head was a Cattleya notebook and a Panda ballpoint pen. I used the notebook as a whipping boy for my mistakes, a shrink to pile my regrets upon, a wishing well for my simple desires. But I stopped short of treating it like a confessional box because of the very valid fear that it may fall into the wrong hands. Hello, have you not seen Mara Clara?

I wish I knew where all those notebooks went. I probably would end up rolling on the floor laughing if I get the chance to read them again. Or shaking my head in disbelief over how naive I used to be. They'd be an entertaining read, though.

Whoopsie

2011-04-25T20:20:00.000+08:00

Hah! The first thing I did when I got home today was log on to Facebook. Well, so much for eliminating that bottleneck in my pursuit of intellectual excellence! I immediately logged off when I realized that I was disobeying one of my own rules. I'm sticking to blogging. Until Friday, that is. Friday evening.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T21:03:00.001+08:00

I absolutely loved today. Woke up early (well, ok, 9am) to catch a 9:30 mass. A quick chat on the phone with my mom and my brother, followed by lunch at a good friend's house overflowing with yummy Pinoy food, Bellini, and really good French films. I finished off Sunday with an hour of vinyasa, alcohol notwithstanding. How I wish I could have days like this everyday.

This day makes up for the fact that I have to be at work at 5:30 a.m. for the rest of the week. Oh well.

Keeping my end of the deal

2011-04-23T11:54:00.000+08:00

I think God is punishing me. My Singtel mio TV remote control is busted, and I can't play, rewind, forward, or pause my TV shows without having to get up from bed and physically pressing the buttons on the set top box myself. Why punish me like this? I've been trying to keep my end of the bargain!

Oh wait, it's Saturday. I shouldn't even be watching TV. Oh, that explains it, then.

I am off to yoga class instead. Three days in a row. Woot!

Hungry

2011-04-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

One of the drawbacks about not living with your family is that when you are down and sick, there is nobody to cast poor puppy dog eyes to and beg food from. I'm dang hungry but too weak to go out and buy dinner. So I did what no sick person should have done - ordered from McDonald's. Good luck with that.

You are the decisions that you make (and all that Oprah-ish stuff)

2011-04-21T00:22:00.001+08:00

Well they've said it before, and it's high time I listened to them: you are the decisions that you make. I don't exactly know who to attribute that line to, but I've heard it often enough to finally accept it as fact.

If I had only myself to think of, my list of fears is topped by growing old with Alzheimer's, turning into a fat and overbearing old woman, and becoming so bored with my life that the highlight of my day would be watching reruns of The West Wing.

For the record, I have seen all seven seasons of The West Wing, but only twice. I feel like watching them again, though.

So I've made my decisions. To keep Alzheimer's at bay, I shall read more books. Yes, more reading to kill my already-half-dead eyesight and to stimulate my brain. The last one I've read was Fairy Tale Fail by my favorite chick-lit superfriend Mina V. Esguerra. Woot! Please buy her books, by the way.

And what of the body? I remember a friend once telling me that going for a workout should be as routine as going to work. You know what? He's right. To keep from becoming a fat and overbearing woman, I shall do just that. Thank God I decided to do yoga after work today, even if all I wanted to do was go home to bed and watch Dark Blue. Pat, pat, pat on the back.

So how do I keep from getting bored? I shall not watch TV on weekends. If I can do that, then I can find other sources of entertainment and thus keep the boredom away. Well. It's an idea, at least.

This, of course, does not including the TV I have to watch in relation to work. Like, if North Korea goes on another missile-launching spree over a weekend, then I guess that merits a click of the remote control.

I really don't know if I can stick to these life-altering decisions. I'll find out soon enough.

Lame, Lame, Lame

2011-03-02T23:25:00.003+08:00

Wow. I've been clocking in at least 10 hours at work for the past week or so, and I've got another week or so on this long shift.

Surprisingly, I don't really feel the burden of work while I'm actually AT work. I suppose all that coffee and adrenalin were keeping me on my toes (and of course the fear of blinking and missing something crucial). But when I get home I feel the heaviness of the day weigh down on me. I haven't felt like this in a long time!

And to top it all off, I have been missing yoga class everyday. More than anything, I think this is what's making me grumpy.

Time Space Warp

2011-03-02T01:00:00.005+08:00

While I was happily switching tabs between my Twitter and Facebook accounts, I stumbled upon something that sent me reeling back in time: an old article I had written for a music website in 2000. Somebody had revived it from ye olde trunk of memories and posted it online.

I was tickled pink by the thought that it was still deemed all right for circulation. And of course in my head I was editing it as I read along, hoping that I had used a different word or phrased something differently.

Well, there is no turning back. It's online, and it's indelible.

Christmas is just around the corner

2010-11-08T20:20:00.003+08:00

... because my family's tickets to sunny Singapore are in the bag. There'll be lots of places to visit and lots of food to eat. And most especially, lots of time to cherish with the most important people in my life. From today onwards I'm sure the days will zip by pretty fast.

This Moment

2010-11-07T20:17:00.005+08:00

Towards the end of every year we are assessed at work, with our goals compared with those that were set the previous year. A salary increase usually hinges on whether you've barely met your goals, or if you have exceeded them.

If I apply that to how I've lived my year, I'd say I've barely met my goals, and I don't deserve a raise. Sure, work has been a blast. I've grown so much I sometimes don't recognize myself anymore. But outside of work, it has not been a hoot.

My writing has been confined to stories about markets and economies. Unless I'm eyeing on getting published as the next Suze Orman or Nouriel Roubini, then it hardly deserves any accolade.

My yoga practice has been put-putting and would have ground to a halt if I had not felt guilty about my monthly payments.

My plans of quitting smoking have went up in smokes.

My sleep cycle has gone haywire.

I don't know what to do with my hair.

I know I'm looking at things the wrong way. If I put things in proper perspective, of course I should say I've been blessed - I have a supportive family and wonderful friends, and a job. What else could I possibly need?

I don't know, really. I want to wallow in annoyance for a while. Tonight seemed like a good night as any.

Hopefully tomorrow I wake up on the right side of the bed. In the meantime, I'm totally digging a Nic Chagall song that's helping lift my spirit inch by inch.

Filling up Blank Pages

2010-07-25T20:30:00.001+08:00

It's been a whirlwind year, hasn't it? This blog has not received the kind of attention I've always dreamed it would - and I don't mean the kind of attention from readers, mind you. I'm talking about the kind of attention it should have been receiving from me. Well, with strange work hours, periods of physical and mental lethargy, and a death in the family, I think I get a free pass, don't I?

But nevertheless, I shall continue to plod on with the writing exercise. I've been consumed by too much external distractions that I've failed to check on the state of my vocation. This time, as Angela Boffil had said, I'll be sweeter.

and i thought friday would be quiet

2010-05-08T01:10:00.002+08:00

but no. the dow had to go cratering by nearly 1,000 points overnight. all my carefully laid-out plans had to go out the window and i even had to stand up most of the time in the control room out of sheer stress.

but at the end of the show, everybody was very happy.

it's twisted how, sometimes, horrific news can be a source of satisfaction for me. i swear i would have been happier if that wasn't the case.

feeling different

2010-01-10T23:18:00.002+08:00

normally if i'm not asleep at this time of the night i'd be in a state of panic. i'd toss and turn in bed and fret about the possibility of not waking up in time for work. i'd jerk in bed with fright every 20 minutes or so, and look at the clock just to make sure that i hadn't overslept.

tonight i'm in an i-don't-care phase. in fact, i think i've been in this phase for several days running. thankfully i haven't been late for work yet.

have i really reached the height of indifference?

looking for a project

2009-11-22T20:26:00.002+08:00

while hanging out with my friends (with a peanut butter martini in hand), i suddenly realized that i was bored. ultimately bored. i don't know what's missing. i am able to go through my work and yoga pretty fine, but something is still missing. i need a project i'd be really interested in.

the 10 days that amazed me

2009-11-19T18:06:00.002+08:00

so i just finished a master cleanse fast, where i only took lemonade with maple syrup and cayenne pepper for 10 days. i lost about eight pounds but i feel like i look the same, so i most probably just lost a lot of body water. but i do feel lighter, so that can't be bad.

the good side of the fast is that i was able to cleanse my colon after eating the way i did for 30+ years. and i think the best take-away i got from this is realizing that it's really possible to do anything you want if you put your mind to it. i have a new-found respect for the body. it really is a wonderful instrument!

pump it up

2009-07-05T20:30:00.003+08:00

so i went for my first power 2 class today, after a hatha 1 class. it was awesome! i actually managed to do a hand stand! with the help of a classmate and a wall of course. but still! the thought of doing a hand stand usually freaks me out, but not anymore. i am going to practice doing this everyday from now on.

anyway. so i went for two classes today in the hopes of tiring myself out, so i would sleep early. i am now back to the ungodly morning show shift. it is an exciting change, i have to admit, but the idea of coming in late for work scares me to death.

but look at this. after two classes, i am wide awake. bummer.

so fine

2009-07-02T17:43:00.010+08:00

music: the ultimate (the roots)

this may sound fantastic, maybe because it is, but i have not had a cigarette in three weeks.

what led to this event was pretty humdrum - i woke up one saturday and wondered if i could go without smoking that day. i surprised myself by finding out that i could.

and so i kept on wondering for the next three weeks, and each day i said yes. what shocked me everyday was that, dude, it wasn't as hard as i thought it would be. there were no cravings, there were no temptations. in fact, i've had several nights out drinking without lighting up and without feeling deprived. my daily stressors at work failed to push me to my smoking area. ergo, my enjoyment and peace of mind did not hinge on a stick anymore.

of course it's not going to be easy erasing 15 years' worth of nicotine from my system, but i'm willing to go through it one day at a time.

why i love sundays

2009-02-15T13:37:00.005+08:00

because i can wake up late and not scramble to get to work.

because i can sit with a good cup of coffee, have countless of cigarettes, leaf through the newspapers at a leisurely pace, and absorb every article that catches my eye (i've caught three typos and errors so far).

because i can stay on the phone with my family for hours on end, planning vacations and ruminating the week's events.

because i can stay on facebook as long as i want.

because i can mull over the things i want in life in the long-term, and strategize my week ahead.

i love sundays.

i did it!

2009-02-03T07:34:00.003+08:00

i managed to wake up earlier than usual! so now i was able to apply make-up properly, have a hearty breakfast, some serious coffee and cigarettes, and my head is so clear! i think it helped that i slept early last night. this is absolutely fantastic!

ramblings on a saturday

2009-01-31T15:36:00.003+08:00

well, so much for waking up at 5 am. on average i still wake up at 7 am! which basically means that for the past three days, yes, i've only managed to take a shower and rush to the office, and subsisted on brewed coffee until my show ended at 2 p.m.

but if it's any consolation, at least i haven't taken a cab to work in the past three days. that's $30 saved, baby! (i unfortunately ended up spending a little more on friday night after work for drinks. but then again, i still spent $30 less for the past three days).

so today i'm trying to take it easy before i go for a children's birthday party and some alcohol. the alcohol will of course come after the children's party. and i can't wait for another night of glorious west wing episodes for my fill of political fiction. this is looking to be like a beautiful weekend.

yet another plan

2009-01-27T23:04:00.003+08:00

well that was a good four-day break, wasn't it? i went for yoga class three straight days, did a bit of housekeeping (well, okay, i bugged my brother to do some housekeeping), did some errands and made important personal calls that were taking forever for me to get around.

and i am actually excited to go back to work. i'm looking forward to poring over wires. i'm thrilled by the threat of not finishing things on time, but i beat the clock every single day. live on the edge, i say.

in my quest for some life-work balance, i'm aiming to wake up earlier. like, 5 a.m. i'm doing this because i'm frustrated by how i always wake up frazzled and annoyed in the morning. i'd usually take a quick shower before sprinting off to work. i'm especially frustrated that i'm wasting SO MUCH MONEY on taxi fare. it's ridiculous.

the inspiration comes from my friend durga, who wakes up happy at 5 a.m. (she's crazy, i tell you).

i'm looking forward to a long shower, a hearty breakfast, newspaper/tv over coffee, and enough time to properly apply make-up.

i think the joy comes from knowing that you have enough quality time alone before the shock waves descend.

i can't wait to crack my knuckles at work tomorrow.

my rahm emanuel obsession has got to stop

2009-01-27T00:33:00.002+08:00

but he's the bomb. in every sense of the word.

bleah

2009-01-26T23:03:00.005+08:00

it's a holiday today but i feel like i've done so much that i need to get paid for them. i managed to go to yoga class, clear the bills, finish some coding, and finally, mustered enough courage to call my friend in nice to say i wouldn't be able to go to her wedding.

i was really looking forward to going to cote d'azur in february. i had all my papers and certifications and bank statements ready for my schengen visa, and all i needed was details to my accommodation - which of course i did not get in time. and as days passed by, the air ticket became more expensive, and my enthusiasm waned.

but i think it's a blessing in disguise. this means i can save up a few more moolah before our big family outing in may. (yeah, yeah, i'm just saying this but of course my heart is still pounding with disappointment.)

upping the game

2009-01-25T18:04:00.005+08:00

i get another chance at starting on a clean slate. thank god for two new years in 12 months. and because i have no plans of boring myself with resolutions i've been vowing to do for the past five years, i am inclined to just talk about two things that have caught my attention at the start of the year:

1. rahm emanuel. i love this guy. and so does the new president of the united states of america. i read that barack is only too happy to take rahm's calls when the latter is busy. if i could have my boss do that for me, i would think of myself as a made woman. i wish i had his kinetic energy. but i think my obsession over him stems from the fact that his passion knows no bounds. if he wanted something, he'd do something about it. if he needed something done, he'd do it himself. if something got in the way of his goals, he'd make use of a sledgehammer. if he's angry at someone, he'd send a dead fish over. i love it. i've always told myself i needed to be a little more abrasive to get into the big league. i shouldn't care if i was loathed - because i'd be too busy over things that truly mattered to me.

2. ashtanga yoga. okay, so maybe i've taken note of this since last year. but still. in the spirit of upping my game, i'd like to practice more ashtanga than bikram this year. to be fair, hot yoga has helped me a lot in terms of flexibility. look, i can touch my toes now! but i think i need to be physically stronger, too. i need to be able to carry my weight with my two hands. i need to be able to overcome my fear of headstands. and if i can conquer that fear - i can conquer anything.

and of course there's my usual spiel about making new friends and keeping old ones, making more money while reining in current expenses, and my all-time favorites - quitting smoking and reducing my carbon footprint. but these all go to the back-burner right now while i try to figure out how to make my life more interesting than it already is.

home is where the heart is

2009-01-02T17:56:00.003+08:00

i've never been so hell-bent on buying a house. i'm gonna go and get me one soon this year. tomorrow i'm meeting an old high school buddy who's now a realtor. hopefully she can help me sort through the sordid matter of buying a house.

party like it's 2007!

2009-01-01T23:39:00.003+08:00

it's the holiday season, and every holiday season there is a series of family gatherings that i usually attend.

at one gathering today i had a couple of relatives round the table ask me why i was still unmarried. my answer was a quick "there is nobody to marry". to which one of my aunts, who got married at 21, said, "that's right! don't rush into it! don't be like me!" my uncle had been sitting beside her, by the way.

despite my little spiel about how i am still enjoying my purchasing power, i actually knew that the reason i am still happily single is because i've still got so much to do! like, buy a house, learn how to drive, travel at a minute's notice, watch as many tv shows and movies as i want, and work my ass off during the crazy hours that i keep. if i were married, would i still be able to do all that - and more?

the height of vanity

2008-07-02T00:24:00.002+08:00

at hot yoga today there was a lady who took advantage of the room's heat by putting on patches of a facial mask beneath her eyes. i was, to say the least, repulsed. first, because she looked like she had white eyebags. and second, because i felt she defiled the serenity of the class by treating it like a sauna session. i take my classes seriously, both physically and spiritually, and i think my teacher and my other classmates do, too. but the sight of her right smack in the middle of the front row with her facial mask for the whole world to see was truly unnerving. ano bey???

(then again, spirituality entails that we see beyond what the eyes see, no? tsk tsk to me!)

i promise to sleep by 1 a.m.

2008-06-30T00:47:00.006+08:00

music: use it (the new pornographers)

but before i do, i'd like to post a little entry just to say 'hi' mostly to myself, and to remind myself that writing is still an exercise my body and mind needs.

anyway. i blew a bit of money this weekend on glominerals. no, really, it's a great product. i asked the make-up artist to do me up in such a way that i can still keep using red lipstick. he lathered on some tint base on me, pencilled in my eyebrows (who'd have thought they needed pencilling in?), and dusted some blush on my cheeks. he made my face look naturally colored. and he made it look so easy. so i bought whatever it was he used on me. (p.s. larry yeo is fabulous. i'll get him as my make-up artist on my wedding day. forward-planning here.)

on another note... a friend and i were walking with our hotdogs one day and we started talking about music. during the course of our conversation i found out he was the musical director of channel [v] in the early 90s.

i was floored!

i remember having had a conversation with my friend louie several years ago, maybe a decade ago, when we both lauded the merits of channel [v]'s musical selections. we had agreed that channel [v] trumped mtv on all fronts, and that channel [v] was 100 times cooler than mtv.

and there i was, walking side-by-side with hotdogs with the man who actually made those musical selections! i always thought he used to be a vj but it turned out he was higher up the food chain. he was responsible for choosing what songs to play, what songs to promote, and what songs to put in the top 20 countdown (partly subject to his whims), and his choices were final. i was star-struck for a split-second, to be honest.

i would love to have the job he had. imagine going to work everyday, just listening to songs you liked. of course there will be days when you'll have to listen to songs you would never put in your ipod under pain of death, but it'd still probably be interesting. imagine all those concert tickets i'd get for free!

that's probably what inspired me to finally decide to go for death cab for cutie's concert. i realized i needed a bit more music in my life. the only music i'm accustomed to recently is the chung! chung! of law & order. i may work for tv, but i'm beginning to feel that tv is getting to be real bad for my soul.

2008-04-01T01:06:00.004+08:00

bright ideas

these past couple of weeks i've been trying to think of things that would make me hit the big time. edison has already discovered the lightbulb (although i'm sure some other scientist's descendant will dispute this), and i'm no scientist myself, so i'll be leaving the great inventions to the likes of gates and jobs and ernie baron.

turning to the creative field - i am frustrated that jk rowling beat me to the story of the boy who lived. in my imaginary manuscript, my boy lives in the slums of tondo and one day, as a baby, is struck by a mangkukulam's wand. but my boy is protected by strong forces so the lightning from the mangkukulam's wand deflects against a yero, striking the little boy slightly on the forehead, and the full force hits the mangkukulam square on the chest instead. a scar is left on the little boy's forehead in the shape of a T. and so forth and so on. but since lady rowling has already gone that path, i'm keeping away from it for fear of plagiarism charges.

by the way, did anybody watch the oscars? am i the only one who thinks that diablo cody is the most over-rated screenwriter on the planet? i strongly believe that juno would not have been such a delight if it weren't for ellen page and george michael - er - michael cera. script be damned. it's the lamest script ever to win an oscar. i can't believe it's up there alongside good will hunting. i am not sour-graping!

it is my wish that someday i come up with a series of books in the fantasy genre, in 12 volumes, find a producer who will turn it into a movie in four trilogies, and get mattel to do the official licensed figurines so that my great-great-grandchildren's great-great-granchildren will be well supported. and guess who'll be laughing all the way to the grave.

2008-03-25T22:47:00.004+08:00

alone time

i've been toying with the idea of going on a trip by myself. nothing fancy. just a trip to a beachside resort-hotel, with two books and three great films on dvd i've always wanted to watch, an ipod, a bathing suit, cigarettes, some sun block and a decent supply of underwear.

i'm looking at a four-day, three-night stint when i can figure out what my goals for the next four years will be, when i turn 35. we're going in fives here because they're easier to count.

the only problem i see is - what would i do after dinner?

i'm admittedly a social animal by nature. i would probably wander into the streets to look for a place where i can drink and socialize. but how does a lady socialize in an island full of strangers... at night?

so, yeah, the danger of being out alone at night is the only thing that's keeping me from booking a trip.

i need to re-think this plan.

***

P.S. so maybe i was exaggerating yesterday when i said i haven't been reading. the truth is, i've already read two novels in the past week and i'm almost mid-way through another right now. these are the reason why i'm feeling the urge to start blogging again: ian mcewan, neil gaiman and gabriel garcia marquez. tough acts to follow but, hey, at least they inspire.

2008-03-25T00:23:00.002+08:00

i can't stay like this

i've changed so much it's not funny anymore.

this realization made itself apparent after an evening out with close college friends, half of whom i had not seen in ages. another two made themselves available through phone calls on that same night. so as we shared a bottle of vodka among ourselves in the smoke-filled room, there was one question i had a hard time answering: "malatemail, ano'ng kwento?"

my mind literally drew a blank. i couldn't think of anything that had happened to me in the last year that i could write a novel about. no major work meltdown, no new hobby, no new crush, not even a fantastic book or movie that i could rave about for a week.

i'm afraid to admit, but i am admitting it, anyway, that i've lost the passion for discovering new things.

in my first few years in singapore, i made it a point to go out, somewhere, ANYWHERE, just to say i went out. if some new activity seemed somewhat interesting (wakeboard? let's! yoga? tara!) i'd latch on to it with fervor.

but lately? bleah.

on the same vein, i also seemed to have lost the passion for the things i cherished in my youth - books, film and music.

when i say books, i mean books that give me a line to sustain me for a couple of days. when i say films, i mean films that will send me to a place that i will keep thinking about. and when i say music, i mean music that will keep playing like a broken record in my head, which would make me either smile or weep.

as i realize this now, i feel that i need to wake up from this year-long sleep. i'd like to believe that acknowledging this is equivalent to wriggling my toes in bed.

and no, i do not blame the endless tv shows on dvd for this (i managed to learn new terms from law and order, like blunt trauma to the head and material representation, so they can't be all that bad). this is all my doing, and it is my pleasure to undo it.

2007-09-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

wakeboarding weekend

of course we swallowed a lot of water. of course our bodies slapped onto the lake, which resulted in strange bruises on our bodies. and of course we had fun for one whole day, all for $80. i love weekends like these. anyone else interested may want to check out www.cable-ski.com.

2007-09-19T22:13:00.000+08:00

an idle mind is the devil's mini-bar

blogging used to be easy, but i am shamed by the realization that i have logged in only 23 posts this year. whatever have i done with my time? i can only think of a few answers:

1. a job that sees me out the door by 6:45 in the morning, and in bed by 10 p.m.
2. west wing, seasons 1 to 7
3. criminal minds, season 1
4. spooks, season 5
5. and so many other seasons of so many other canned shows

recidivism, i think, is the word for it, and idling is the crime (i can still learn new words, though).

the change in my reading habits has seen the worst. these days, i've limited myself to esteemed publications such as the straits times's life! section, and online publications of the ft, wsj, bbc, bbg, iht and nyt (which, incidentally, has scrapped its fees for its premium nytselect articles. whoopee!).

and i should die of embarrassment by now. to this day, i am still plowing through vanity of duluoz. what do i blame? i blame the fact that i no longer take 45-minute mrt rides that give me the luxury of time to read at least a chapter per trip.

no, seriously. i think i've gotten lazy. this should scare the daylights out of me, since my biggest fear is growing old with alzheimer's disease. that fear has not changed since 1993.

now hand me that crossword puzzle.

2007-07-09T00:37:00.000+08:00

blah blah and more blah
music: other side of the world (kt tunstall)

for three days i refrained from smoking, and surprised myself at the willpower i never thought i had. on the fourth day, that resolve crashed to earth as i lit a cigarette at a friend's party. it's hard not to crave nicotine while you're having alcohol. but i promise i'll be good this week. i realize i can keep away from cigarettes during the weekdays. it's the weekends that stink. but no, this week will be better.

on a different note: i'm looking forward to die hard 4 and harry potter, the next in the series of sequels that i've been following the past couple of months. saw fantastic four and transformers, too. totally enjoyed them.

but the most enjoyable, i thought, was hot fuzz. it was so goddamn funny i can't even begin to describe it. it was made by the same people who made shaun of the dead. it's a little bit doc martin, a little bit midsomer murders, a little bit bad boys. probably my favorite movie so far this year.

back-pedalling just a bit further: the flu was not enough to keep me out of the movie theater a month ago. i didn't care if anybody accused me of infecting a third of the population of tiong bahru - i wanted to watch ocean's 13. it's the best eye-candy ever created for film. it reaffirmed the universal agreement that brad pitt is the world's handsomest man. and an online interview i stumbled upon showed he had a good sense of humor too:

CLOONEY: The last real movie stars were probably Redford and Newman. And things were different then. There wasn't this amazing amount of magazines and information about them.

DAMON: We didn't know anything about them.

CLOONEY: There was mystique. They're 60 feet high, and you paid your buck and a half to go see them. But that's gone. People know everything about everybody now.

PITT: Jaws came along and proved you could make huge money with blockbusters, and it set this thing in motion that has lowered the subject matter. People like George have been getting good stuff out there, but it's an industry that pushes people out on the big stage too fast, before they're ready, and it eats them up as well. It's a different kind of arena now.

BARKIN: Think about it. Do we know anything about Robert Redford's children? Does he even have any?

DAMON: I worked with him, and I don't know.

PITT: I have four, if you haven't heard.

2007-06-28T18:44:00.000+08:00

i'd like to be steve jobs
music: ever after (bonnie bailey)

so the apple iphone launches in the u.s. tomorrow and asia will be left lusting after it until next year comes around. come to think of it, the wait won't be that bad. at least apple gets a whole year to fix whatever is wrong with the iphone before it gets mass-produced in china and we can all buy it at 50% off, sans the hangs.

this wsj bigshot mossberg has given it his blessings, which practically assures it of surpassing the ipod's global sales for the past three years (not). anyway. i wish had the kind of mettle this mossberg has. i could say that blenders made of toilet paper are a breakthrough invention and people would believe me.

now if i had the marketing and technical genius of steve jobs, i'd like to propose the following consumer-friendly products:

1. wireless headphones that allow you to change music with the shake of your head.
2. laptops with batteries that don't need to be recharged.
3. eyeblink-activated television sets that go to the channel you already have in mind.
4. alarm clocks that automatically go on snooze when you yawn.

god i'd be so rich.

and yes, i'd rather be a jobs than a gates, because jobs's fashion sense can still be salvaged by the cast of queer eye for the straight guy.

2007-06-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

medics, my ass
music: rehab (amy winehouse)

oh, hello. it's lame-ass blogger logging on, with fresh insights reaped from a little over a month's hiatus.

bored. i am bored.

apart from the csi series splayed out a la conveyor-belt sushi on sundays, there's nothing to watch on tv anymore. american idol is over, so is house, so is heroes, so is grey's anatomy, and studio 60 is DEAD.

just some comments on those two medical dramedies...

grey's anatomy: i despise meredith grey (who's only slightly heavier than ally mcbeal by two pounds). i hate the interns' habit of bedding their fellow interns and attending surgeons. i hate mcdreamy, who never really shows anything on the show save for that lovely tousled hair, but then again he's one of those Child Actors Who Survived so you gotta give him credit for growing old well. and i seriously think izzie lost a couple of screws when denny the pug died. whiners, all!

but who gives a fuck. week after week i look forward to each episode with anticipation. it's like feeding a nicotine addiction through cathode ray tubes (too cheap to get plasma). it's sick. i'm sick. but still.

the only characters i do like are christina, george and addison. loved how christina broke down in the season finale in her wedding gown! and then there's george, who i'm fond of despite his being an indecisive little loser. i also like how well-developed and how REAL addison's character is - so much so that she gets kicked out of the show into a show of her own.

on house: house is a best friend i wouldn't mind having. he loves his profession not because he wants to save lives, but because he loves to solve puzzles. how twisted is that? bad, but at least he's not kidding anyone.

(plus i've had a stupid crush on robert sean leonard since he appeared in dead poets society when i was 13, and i realize i still like him despite the sagging skin around the jawbones and... is it me or is he slightly banlag these days?)

ah well.

managed to catch some movies i enjoyed, though. shrek 3, zodiac, and blades of glory. assorted genres that reflect the kind of person i really am: sometimes animated, sometimes intense, most times absurd.

2007-05-01T23:14:00.000+08:00

the hand that rocks the cradle (is not mine)

at a barbecue party today i was struck by the realization that some women my age are with kids. some have changed diapers, some have sent their kids to day care center, and yet some have already shed tears at their kids' high school graduations.

i, on the other hand, busy myself with the weekly drinking binges, the movies, the tv shows, the occasional panic over climate change. and on some days i just want to mope and the only person i'm giving a hard time to is myself.

if it's so hard to keep track of one's own life, how could i expect myself to keep track of little junior's feeding and pooping schedules and (gasp) those bawling frenzies at 3 am when my brain would probably be too cobwebbed with sleep to even guess what the little creature really wants?

i am reminded of a comment from a friend who's scared shitless at the prospect of having kids: "when i give birth to them i'd like them to be 18 years old, so we can have decent conversations."

i am in no way anti-kids. in fact, i love the little buggers. but i am amazed at how all new mothers take to childcare so effortlessly, despite having had no previous experience. nothing really prepares you for it, not even the bestselling dummy's guide to motherhood, until you actually have the child crying hysterically in your arms.

and these women i'm talking about, they're just my age! i wonder sometimes if i under-worry too much, because right now my worry is over what i'll wear to friday night's alter-ego party.

2007-04-25T21:59:00.000+08:00

bookmark me

omigod ipsy it's scary, this online quiz. it's so true! i'm very short!

You're Prufrock and Other Observations by T.S. Eliot

Though you are very short and often overshadowed, your voice is poetic and lyrical.

Dark and brooding, you see the world as a hopeless effort of people trying to impress other people.

Though you make reference to almost everything, you've really heard enough about Michelangelo. You measure out your life with coffee spoons.

Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

2007-04-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

child labor

my boss told me he's hesitant about letting me go on a four-week holiday, mainly because it'll give him enough time to realize he doesn't need me anymore. stung, i tried to be smart and said it'll also give me enough time to figure out whether i'm really happy with what i do. pushing carts is not an easy task, my friends. and he just smiled at me as he stubbed out a cigarette.

2007-04-17T17:30:00.000+08:00

missing: 19 y.o. journalism student
last seen: rolling teleprompter

i asked our new intern to trail after our news assistant so she'd get an idea of how things worked in the newsroom. after our show, the intern went missing and we couldn't find her.

i asked our news assistant where she went.

sheepishly, he said, "i lost her."

and then - surprise! - she was sitting next to me. she asked me, in short gasping breaths, if i needed anything from her.

i told her i didn't, but she might just want to stand by and wait until my producer came back from a cigarette break.

so she hung around. it could have been 15 minutes, it could have been an hour. i didn't notice.

when my producer came back we yakked and laughed and talked crap for a full 15 minutes (or maybe 30), before i remembered the intern.

and it turned out the producer didn't need anything from her, either.

then the news assistant came up with a brilliant idea (about 1.5 hours late) of giving the intern a practical test, so she had to stay back.

i felt sorry for the intern because it was her first day at work, and we all seem to have forgotten she existed.

(then i turned to my producer and we went out for a cigarette)

2007-04-16T23:25:00.000+08:00

vanity fair
music: just another girl (pete yorn)

i'm currently leafing through the vanity of duluoz, an autobiographical novel by jack kerouac, and i am reading it at least 30 years too late.

i am almost halfway through the book. what i like about it is that i find it poetic, despite most of the earlier pages being dedicated mostly to the unbeautiful game of football. i haven't reached the part where he talks about his naval service yet. i'm waiting to be surprised.

a couple of days from now i'll be done with the book and i'm gonna have to find another read. waiting in the wings are 1421: the year china discovered america and a beat-up book on money, banking and finance. whut

---

couch patatas says: galit ka pa?
malatemail says: hahaha ano ka ba. you know i can't stay angry at you for more than 12 hours!
couch patatas says: kahapon kaya it was 24 hours na (:
malatemail says: nagi-inarte lang ako nun.
couch patatas: well, if that's the case
couch patatas: ang arte mo!!

but i'm just a girl, couch patatas! i take the trash out every morning before going to work at 6:30 a.m., but i make sure i wear my red chanel lipstick. because i'm just a girl!

plus, i love drama.

----

i heard april is poetry month. here's my attempt at poetry-in-a-minute:

alas! it's almost midnight
my bedtime has long passed.
tomorrow i'll be in a daze
and my scripts will be a mess.

2007-04-14T02:50:00.000+08:00

kurt vonnegut, 84

one of my favorite writers has passed away. he had to at some point, but still, it's sad.

article here.

2007-03-31T00:18:00.000+08:00

that's entertainment!

the next time you see an empty white mercedes taxi plying the central business district, you might want to hop on.

several months ago i had the opportunity to board it. the bubbly white-haired driver made a quick assessment that i was filipino based on how i spoke. when i confirmed this, he said he knew for a fact that filipinos loved to sing. i told him it was a general rule.

he turned off his radio and plonked in a *minus-one* cd, and belted out a love song that reverberated throughout the cab. oh my god i was stunned. first, because the old man actually had a pair of good pipes on him. second, because... dude, when was the last time your cabbie sang to you in full performance level?

and then i realized i was not his first audience, because he handed me a couple of laminated newspaper clippings of his natural driving and singing abilities.

so anyway, fast-forward to today. my co-workers and i were on our way to the hyatt and we boarded a mercedes taxi outside our office. i recognized the shock of white hair, and noticed that there were laminated news clippings peeping out of his car visor.

i asked him if he was the singing driver, and he shook his head and said he didn't sing. but he went on and plonked a cd into his sytem anyway, and launched into a hearty version of "pretty woman".

we all broke out laughing in the cab, my co-workers and i. and what do you do when something like that happens? you sing along, of course. and i wondered why, with so many mercedes taxi cabs in singapore, i had to get into his.

---

totally unrelated:
U.S. grain futures tumbled on Friday, with corn leading the way after a government report showed that American farmers will plant the most corn since 1944 in a bid to rake in profits from the highest prices in 10 years.

"Corn is acting as expected, and I think beans were lower in sympathy," said Vic Lespinasse, a trading floor spokesman for brokerage A.G. Edwards at the Chicago Board of Trade.
i imagine a corn kernel and a soy bean with tiny little arms comforting one another. haha.

2007-03-29T22:39:00.000+08:00

another one

i figured out another concoction (but only in thought, because valley girl was the one who actually went ahead and mixed it [but i thought of it first!]).

it's apple vodka and f&n orange. f&n orange, for the uninitiated, is singapore's version of royal tru-orange.

i decided against mixing myself my own glass because i had just brushed my teeth. also, i knew that if i enjoyed it, i might while the time away with the spirit and spiral down the lovely sewer called alcoholism. haha.

but vodka, wow. you can mix anything with it. my next project is rootbeer vodka float.

2007-03-24T23:44:00.000+08:00

mix me baby one more time!
music: baby, now that i found you (the foundations)

valley girl introduced me to a drink that i've been fascinated with for the past couple of days -- chocolate milk with vodka.

it's probably called some exotic name in some other land, but to me it's simply known as "friend". when i find myself loafing alone at home, i'd hit the fridge and mix me one part vodka and two parts chocolate milk. absolut vanilla and low-fat chocolate milk is the best combination i've had so far.

so this afternoon i was late for my relaunch rehearsals. one of my colleagues asked if i had a hard night on friday. i sheepishly admitted that all i had the night before was chocolate and vodka, which effectively knocked me out into a deep sleep. hopefully this is not a sign of potential dependency on alcohol (my chocolate-ism is irreversible).

2007-03-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

happy days are here again
music: midnight (jump, little children)

yes, i am a lame blogger. and if my creative writing teacher in college ever finds out, she'll be chasing me with a ruler.

i remember her telling us that the only way to become a good writer is to keep writing, and to keep revising, and to know when to stop. although i do write and edit a lot of my own stuff at work, i tend to write in a tone and style that's fit for my job. ergo, it will never go mainstream.

back in high school, i had spent a couple of summers writing stories which i thought were downright brilliant. i'd even do serious research. agatha christie, eat your heart out, i remember thinking. one time i asked my father what LSD was, and he flipped.

in the earlier years of weblog, i was an eager blogger who blogged about the most inane things that happened in my day. at one point, i noticed that most of my entries had started with the word "I". how self-centered was that? but, as it turned out, my friends were shameless voyeurs, so i continued to feed them with little nuggets of my day. besides, it gave me a kick to turn something as normal as watching a tv show into a bloggable event.

but those were fun days, weren't they? and i need to bring those days back, because writing is fun and a good way of turning random thoughts into solid form (and because i am scared that my creative writing teacher will chase me with a ruler someday).

and on that note: you might be interested to know that i almost came home half-naked today. i misplaced my office top when i changed into my yoga clothes in the studio locker room. so after my class, i was horrified when i couldn't find my change of clothes inside my locker. i went up to an attendant and told her my problem. she asked me if i was sure i had left it there in the first place. i told her i most certainly would have remembered if i had come into the studio topless.

2007-02-27T22:42:00.000+08:00

blame it on the rain
music: broken (jump, little children)

so by the time i walked from the bus stop to the traffic light, the "non-walking man" was already flashing red and the raindrops were pelting on the pavement like bulletfire from a machine gun. i had my shawl on top of my head at that time, but it protected me as much as tissue paper would.

so i waited under the rain while the flashing man taunted me for, like, 30 minutes it felt. then suddenly the rain stopped. or, rather, it stopped pouring within my one-meter radius.

a lady stood beside me, beaming a smile only a pinay could beam so widely. "you want to share an umbrella?"

(i wonder what she would have felt if i had said no.)

so i felt relief wash over me just as the green man appeared. we crossed the street, and we chatted like old friends who had not seen each other for quite some time.

and the quick experience got me to thanking God for all the good-hearted people that he has made in this world.

it contrasted starkly with an awful experience i had when i got stuck in the rain near amara hotel. all i had wanted to do was cross the street to the mrt station, where the flow of human traffic naturally went.

i asked a lady nicely if she would be kind enough to share her umbrella with me to cross the street. she flatly refused.

i was totally appalled at the heartlessness. well i hope at some point she decides to stick the umbrella up her left nostril and then she'd be able to keep her umbrella with her forever and ever. amen.

2007-02-23T16:01:00.000+08:00

ah.

as i'm writing, my landlord is trying to fix my bed frame which collapsed for reasons i will deny to my grave. my glass of ribena juice sits untouched, the droplets of water forming at the middle area and dripping down to the base. i'm late for yoga class, but screw that. i am feeling fabulously lazy and because it's a friday, i will stay at home this afternoon, stay in a bar this evening, burn cash today and burn calories tomorrow. such fun.

2007-02-21T20:46:00.000+08:00

in with the new
music: broken (jump, little children)

i spent the chinese new year holiday splayed in bed, watching episode after episode of heroes, prison break and veronica mars. at mealtimes, i gorged on tocino or longganisa or tapa, while my eyes drank in season 2 of grey's anatomy.

and i've just been recently introduced to ugly betty, which my friend highly recommends. i'll get to it soon.

and the itunes flavor of the month (or maybe for the next three months) is jump, little children. they're a breath of fresh air.

i love these new little discoveries, on days when neither yesterday nor tomorrow matters.

2007-02-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

worthy runner-up to the idiot of the year award

i don't even know why i bother to read my hometown online newspaper.

richard gomez is running for senator.

at this point, i can only echo my brother: wala akong paki!

2007-02-04T02:26:00.000+08:00

idiot of the year award goes to...

i haven't blogged in a long time, and i always thought that the next time i blogged it would be about something profound, like, how humans are to be blamed for climate change.

but i saw an inquirer article about lito lapid's dreams of winning the post of makati mayor, and it just fucking made my blood boil.

this ambitious little twat is definitely eyeing the top position in the philippines. and, unfortunately, with the filipinos' penchant for voting their favorite actors to the top post, he just might win.

can't he just retire? or just resume making stupid movies where the last 30 minutes are held in some obscure warehouse where he gets to kill five evil men with a single bullet?

i think he would do us a big service if he just did that. this is just motherfucking insane.

2007-01-18T01:07:00.000+08:00

indicate this

any person familiar with these figures will be delighted to know that the philippine peso is up, the stock market is rising, and inflation is shrinking. plus, the dollars that overseas filipino workers send home keep piling up. a reason to celebrate? i don't know. at the most, it's a reason not to feel too bad. until, of course, that three-year-old streetchild comes tugging at your sleeve for a few coins to buy dinner.

2007-01-09T03:39:00.000+08:00

countdown

my friend pinkfish shot this as we were strolling down makati, arguably inspired by the moment, or by my beauty, or by the haphazardly layered galvanized iron sheets held preciously together by coils of chicken wire.

i am down to my last five days in manila and i am already gripped by homesickness.

i will miss the late afternoons when my young brother usually jumps up and down my bed in an earnest attempt to wake me up.

i will miss my parents, who sleep later than i do.

i will miss my other brother, who stays up even later.

i will miss that yoga studio with no shower room.

i will miss embassy and that non-filipino-looking filipino dj who made me dance like i owned the club.

i will miss pinkfish and lavender fields and aeus.

i will miss watching dvds until the wee hours of the morning, or until my eyes pop out, whichever comes first.

i will miss the food.

i will miss meeting new people on weekends.

ah, well. no choice but to saunter on. there's probably something really good waiting for me back in singapore.

p.s. the prime minister of kazakhstan has resigned. does this give borat some room to succeed him? har har...

2007-01-03T01:49:00.000+08:00

the cycle of non-violence

today i went for an hour-and-a-half of ashtanga, happy that i can still stretch my hamstrings and rest my forehead to the floor without breaking into tears.

after that, i dunked my head into a nice indian meal of chicken curry and saffron rice. dessert was a block of butter some people call sans rival.

but happy, happy.